This past weekend I went to a salsa congress. I have a love/hate relationship with salsa congresses. I love going to them to be in another city, spend time with friends, learn stuff, dance with people. Yet, at the same time I hate them. Everyone else is always so good, I’m just intimidated! In the workshops, at the performances, at the parties. In the workshops, it seems like everyone gets it but me (except for the bachata workshop, that was fun), particularly the ladies’ styling workshops. Not so much on the body movements workshop, pretty much everyone except the instructor looks silly. But, it is really great to learn stuff that I can do to improve my dancing, or at least that I’ll pretend I’ll do. I think though, that the performances are the worst. The performances are always so good that I’ll watch them, realize the I have no chance of ever being that good and not want to dance for the rest night. I guess out of fear that someone will compare me to the performances and say something about my dancing and how they wish it were like (insert your favorite performing group here). Of course, that’s not going to happen, but I still think it could! At the parties that are so many good dancers that I’m intimidated to even dance on the floor. All of the workshop instructors and performers are dancing and they’re quite good, which is to be expected.
I guess I just felt this experience was one that seemed to be pervasive in my life right now. It’s easiest to talk about it in terms of salsa since that’s something I do for fun and I usually I can put in my desired level of effort and be ok. Although that’s not the case with work, the general idea of the previous paragraph is still present. As a result of a small, ok fine, medium mental breakdown earlier this week, I have a few steps to take to try to remedy this issue.
- I’m not feeling capable right now
- This lead to a mental breakdown, which sucked
- As a result of my breakdown, I have a clearer goal and some action items.
Photo by hilcias78